I can!

We have just returned from the most beautiful farmhouse in France. We went with my parents and had such lovely food, drink, chats, log fires and happy memories.

The worst thing about returning home with three children in the unending amount of laundry. I gave myself a target (!) I found Dr Caroline Leaf’s podcast from YouTube that gave me 40 minutes to fold five peoples laundry and iron. No idea why working against a timer makes me complete the task, but it does (actually, the “flylady” who blogs on home making and keeping a tidy home, tells you to put the timer on and clean..!)

So there I was, folding jeans, pairing socks and listening to this psychiatrist come preacher talking about “I can!” that we can do anything, we are powerful people. That so often we can become Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) and think we must wait for our prince to come and chop down the briars and rescue us from the tiniest of situations (pin prick!). I learned that when I think “I can’t” that I have just made a choice. So if I have the ability to act out “I can’t do it anymore” behaviour, I am just as capable of making an “I can” choice.

As I continued folding the now not-so-small baby grows, I thought about times when I’ve called Ryan or a sweet friend because “I can’t do it anymore!” be it a winging toddler (yeah, I’ve had some of those!), an upset baby, something that needs a solution that I just can’t work out by myself, making the finances balance….

And as I pondered on this, I pondered also on Romans 12:1-2 (MSG)

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

For this is all I can do, my normal, everyday living, walking, talking, playing is an offering! I want to allow God to bring out the best in me, for me and all those around me.

Verse3:

I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

Not sure what more I can add to this, but it’s a challenge, as I want to bring an offering of life that is good to God. I want to do good, but I’m reaffirmed that I am because of what He is….. I can, with His help!

Dr Leaf talked about how our brains react to situations, and if you react a certain way once your brain makes a pathway to react that way time and again. Then she explained that you can create fresh pathways, and that you can retrain your brain to react differently when it feels as though we can’t cope… There is always hope!

Go on, you can do it!
Love and Hope, Anna xox

Light

Hello <3

I could tell you all the beautiful things we’ve been up to for the past six weeks. Of the half written blog posts. I even wrote one on house work (I know. Doesn’t sound like me does it?)

Instead I will just get right on where I left off. Writing about love, life, family, relationships and all that goes between…. Thanks for coming back to read, I love that you decided to click onto my blog. Thank you <3 and sorry to my friends who kept asking where the next blog was, somewhere between waking up at 4am and rocking a baby to sleep…..

On Saturday night I was at an Event where Martin Smith was leading worship. And, amazingly, Ryan was the “Support Act”! It was brilliant, beautiful and dream-come-true all in one evening! I was stood next to one of my most lovely friends and really enjoyed the music, and the presence
As Martin and his band sang one of the lines that spoke to me was:

Oh through the valleys
Through the dark of night
Here you come running
To hold me
Til it’s light

Although I wouldn’t say I’ve been in a “valley” time, I’ve been enjoying life, but as one of my sweet friends said, “but you’re not writing!” I know exactly what she meant, I’ve almost put that on hold until… Well. Thankfully it was yesterday! I’ve been dreaming up plans, thinking of ideas, doing all kinds of things, but not writing!

And whether it was in the literal dark night (awake with baby) or the grey season of life. God came running to hold me, to bring peace and joy until I saw light!

I was telling a story to my parents yesterday about people, about things people say, about my response and how I wanted to run away rather than reach out to them. That would just be easier wouldn’t it? When people say stuff that is either mean, unkind, or just not well thought out, I just want to run away.

But that’s not right. Well, I thought it was. Until my parents told me (yes, they really did…) that that is not how God would want me to treat them. Yikes. God doesn’t want to see me all upset (I thought about responding, but didn’t). They explained that God has given me life to give to others, God has placed life within each of us, and we are part of someone else’s journey. If I choose to walk away, I stop what God could be about to do through me in their life.

So. In that moment, I realised that running away wasn’t going to be the answer. You know, not literally. Because I don’t run But I realised walking away from the words that have been said would not bring them freedom. It sounds like I’m ‘powerful’ but we all are. If we have light within us, we can share it. Or we can keep it to ourselves. I would so much rather share it:

Matthew 5: 11-16 (The Message)

 “Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

Salt and Light

¹³ “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

^14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

And that is exactly what I want to do, to be faithful with the ‘light’ God has placed within me, to be salty and shiny. So ‘I’m going public with this’ I’m committed to the journey God has placed me on, the people He brings into my life, the conversations that arise. For God who knows all things, who created all things knew that conversation before I did. Knew the words that were spoken to me before they were uttered, He also knew how I would respond and how in being afraid, shocked, surprised, God would then allow me to search my heart and in contemplating running would find myself in a place where God came running to me, to hold me and be light!

My prayer is that I walk in light in generosity, being open and allowing others to walk into the light. That God continue to unfold destiny and there will be joy in the journey! Amen

Love, A xox

Right place // Right time

 

Have you heard that phrase recently: ‘I was in the right place at the right time’ More and more often I am hearing this, when I talk to friends, or when I overhear conversations, or when friends retell their friends’ experiences.

So. Have you been in the right place at the right time? I have, many times. For the right job. For the right home! And many more besides. And what about meeting new friends, right place – right time isn’t it? Or could it be more?

Of course, I believe it’s more than that. I was reading the story of Rebecca and her son Isaac in Romans 9:10-12 (MSG)

To Rebecca, also, a promise was made that took priority over genetics. When she became pregnant by our one-of-a-kind ancestor, Isaac, and her babies were still innocent in the womb—incapable of good or bad—she received a special assurance from God. What God did in this case made it perfectly plain that his purpose is not a hit-or-miss thing dependent on what we do or don’t do, but a sure thing determined by his decision, flowing steadily from his initiative.

Do you see the promise, and the destiny for our lives? There we are: incapable of good or bad and God makes the most wonderful plan for our lives, determined by His decision & from His initiative we enter the world. I see this for our children as I know they are born for a purpose with a HUGE destiny, and then if you think back… This means that for their destiny and our future grand-children’s destiny to be outworked so much in the past was to happen. Ryan and I were to meet and marry. Our parents were to meet and marry, our grand and great-grandparents and it goes on and on and on

And there we are: plain and clear: God’s purpose is nor a hit or miss thing. So often we try to work towards the bigger picture, afraid that we might somehow miss it, or mess up on the journey. However we’re learning that each and every single day counts towards the ‘bigger picture’: everything matters. So every day then we must be in the ‘right place at the right time’?

I had some funny interactions with people today. A lovely 83 year old granny (with a 12 year old white westie dog) told me how old she was and there she was carrying her shopping as she walked around Merry Hill. I was so proud of her: I think she wanted to talk to Alyssia, but she saw I had time and told me her story, I didn’t want to look rude and rush off, but after a few minutes she said: right, better go then…

 

Sometimes it hard(er) to see the big destiny that is unfolding before us, but as I look back, I know for sure that I was in the ‘right place at the right time’ as I made choices to step into the destiny planned before time, for me. Thank you God for incredible destiny you have for us, the way that you bring lives together and then bring children into those destines. Thank you God for your incredible plans, purposes and adventures – and that each small choice is part of the big destiny, whether we see it, or not. Thank you God that you see those choices and give us wisdom in each one. Amen

Love A xox

ps £100 challenge is going amazingly….. although I have spent nearly all of it (!) I have to say I was so careful at the shops today. I could easily have spent £30 on baby clothes/girls accessories/things for Ben. So well done me And if you’re doing it too just don’t add lentils to everything hoping that the food goes further. It does because less people want to eat lentils, not because lentils are money saving in themselves. The country soup barley mix however did fill out a few meals, but need to boil for longer as the dried beans didn’t swell, so would be more costly in gas/electricity as they need longer to cook. who knew?! xox

Wise Living: Proverbs 2

This morning as I read Proverbs 2, I was reading with Bethany. She saved me from cbeebies early in the morning. Wait. It was too early for cbeebies – it was just the songs on repeat which Beth isn’t fond of. So we drank coffee (me) and milk (her). And talked. As she was playing ‘take-aways’ with the Russian Dolls: she said “I better not climb on top of the tv to reach them, can you get them mum?”. Wait babe. YOU climb the tv?! I don’t like knowing this. She promised she didn’t do it yesterday (and I don’t think she would ever actually have done it, I mean i *hope* she wouldn’t!)

So I opened my Bible and started reading (NLT today) and she was interested in the number 3 on the page, so I read aloud from Proverbs 2, she too was interested I think reading it aloud in child language made it even easier for me to understand. She called us the ‘wise girls’. Oh I pray so

Proverbs 2 // The Benefits of Wisdom

¹ My child, listen to what I say, 
      and treasure my commands. 
² Tune your ears to wisdom, 
      and concentrate on understanding. 
³ Cry out for insight, 
      and ask for understanding. 

Here we are offered the opportunity to tune into wisdom. As if tuning a radio for frequency. We can chose to listen to wisdom, or chose to ignore it. By asking for insight and understanding: we will be granted it!

⁴ Search for them as you would for silver; 
      seek them like hidden treasures. 
⁵ Then you will understand what it means to fear the LORD, 
      and you will gain knowledge of God. 

Search for them like ‘hidden treasure’. My dad has lost something really precious to him, he borrowed a metal detector and although not yet found, he is still looking. You know when you are desperate to find something you search everywhere, even the places it may not be. Even the places you have already searched? Even the places it most definitely won’t be (and that’s where it is if I’m looking for something my children have lost!).  By searching we will learn fear of the Lord. Always a concept I don’t fully grasp. I fear the Lord. But fear and love are opposites. I am willing to learn.

⁶ For the LORD grants wisdom! 
      From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. 
⁷ He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. 
      He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. 
⁸ He guards the paths of the just 
      and protects those who are faithful to him.

A treasure of common sense: wow. I need that – and more so whilst I am pregnant. How is it that simple things can be forgotten, misplaced, lost ….? A shield: a protection, for walking in integrity. A guarded path with protection. These are all promises for you and I as we seek wisdom.  All we have to do on our part is be honest, walk in integrity and be just. Yes, with God’s help it is possible.

¹² Wisdom will save you from evil people, 
      from those whose words are twisted. 
¹³ These men turn from the right way 
      to walk down dark paths. 
¹⁴ They take pleasure in doing wrong, 
      and they enjoy the twisted ways of evil. 
¹⁵ Their actions are crooked, 
      and their ways are wrong.

¹⁶ Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman, 
      from the seductive words of the promiscuous woman. 
¹⁷ She has abandoned her husband 
      and ignores the covenant she made before God. 
¹⁸ Entering her house leads to death; 
      it is the road to the grave.^[b]
19 The man who visits her is doomed. 
      He will never reach the paths of life.

²⁰ Follow the steps of good men instead, 
      and stay on the paths of the righteous. 
²¹ For only the godly will live in the land, 
      and those with integrity will remain in it. 
²² But the wicked will be removed from the land, 
      and the treacherous will be uprooted.

As I read the rest of the chapter aloud, we chatted about different parts of it. The main thing that stood out to Beth was when I paraphrased v 18: don’t go to bad people’s houses….! You like that! Don’t go with the wrong crowd. Obv I changed some words but left the meaning the same – be careful who you hang out with. Which led to chats about her friends at school and her not-friends. We decided we wanted to be godly – to have God in our heart and walk with integrity – to be pure, to do the right thing in God’s eyes. Yes, we did a little bible study… I loved that I could share God’s wisdom with my daughter – not done it like this before.

When we finished Beth asked if there’s a Bethany in the bible. Ohh yes my girl… So we read John 12 and Luke 10 (I think) about Jesus at Bethany (House!) I’m sure I’ve told the beautiful story of Jesus being anointed at Bethany before. But she was mesmerised. Not only by the very very very expensive perfume – she barely gets a spray of my Channel Eau Tendre But if you keep reading, the guy Jesus brought back from the dead, Lazarus, was (from what I read there) killed by the bad guys because people were really interested in Jesus. We had a giggle. She said  ”sometimes people don’t understand God”. I know. Sometimes we don’t know why people would want to kill a guy who’s just been resurrected. We’d want to know what life-after-death is like. We would have hundreds of questions. But to want to murder him because he is bringing Jesus attention…. “Sometimes people don’t understand God” And that was my nugget of wisdom for today: reread verse 21. 

Love from A xox

What not to say to a pregnant woman ;)

I am 22 weeks pregnant and I have a pretty nice bump. I wouldn’t say it’s huge. I would say it’s pretty cute…. I have to blog about things people say to pregnant women. Or maybe it’s just things people say to me. Enjoy and remember, the next time you see a pregnant lady tell her what a gorgeous bump it is She will be your BFF, well, forever!

1. WOW. You’re bump is huge, you must be about to drop? Nope. I’m half way. Honestly there’s no way to make a comeback on this comment. Apart from to go home and google 20 something week pics and realise you are indeed ‘small’ for this stage My babies were 9lb 5 oz and 9lb, so 9lb something is predicted for this baby bump…
2. You must be all water. I love it when people say this…. But at the same time I don’t really know what to say next. Because I don’t know if it’s true. And then I realise my baby right now weighs around 400g, is approx the size of a carrot. A CARROT. Apart from the orange bit, it means that my baby is long and skinny
3. After I had my baby I had a flat stomach within days. OK. This is a secret dream. And only because  my Mum says it makes me not want to google ‘pregnancy diets for a flat tummy’… My mum is, and was, VERY skinny! So she had a good, I mean GREAT starting point… Some people just aren’t as fortunate. Or have ever done as many situps/hoola hoop exercises. Some people, like me!
4. Are you sure it isn’t twins? Hmmmmm….. I saw the ultrasound. And you know those things are quite accurate. Yes I have heard that there is a twin hiding But after a lovely 40 min scan where baby bump moved all over the place, I am convinced. It’s a singleton babe!
5. You’re going to have your hands full. You must be mad.. any variation on the theme of those two. And I smile. Go home and pray that those words will not affect me and I won’t start going crazy! And that we’ll have all the help we need.

Maybe I’m more sensitive during my pregnancy. Maybe *some* people don’t know what to say and revert to cliche.

Of course, lots of people say lovely, lovely things. But when you are not expecting to talk, or if you forget you are pregnant, or are day dreaming about holding new baby these few comments stick in your head!

I look forward to being 40 weeks pregnant and meeting baby bb3. If the past 22 weeks have flown by then the next 18 and a bit should too. I know I waas a bit cheeky writing all those things up there. As I can giggle about it, so can you xox

 

Ben wanted to blog too:

gbfccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc1234545667899999999060

from Ben xjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjbjjjjjjjjjjjjjmjjjjj (benji he says)§§§

 

Questions and Answers: An Interview with Darlene Zschech by Nicky Gumbel

On 28th November, Ryan arranged babysitters for us and we drove down to HTB London for the 1630 Service with Darlene Zschech (who even though I don’t know her I will from now on refer to her as Darlene). I have followed her on twitter for some time and her life is inspirational as a Mum, Grandma, Friend, Pastor and Worship Leader – I assumed she would love life – she really does Joy is her signature. Imagine if that would be true of my life too

The worship was truly beautiful, hearts across the building were worshipping, we were invited to praise, to love and to lean in towards the One who is worthy of it all. I loved it – I loved how my heart could worship in the atmosphere; a place with a rich heritage of worship.

During the interview; by Nicky Gumbel (who I now also follow on twitter – you will have heard of him –  Alpha, The Marriage course and so much more! I heard about him more this summer when Mike P (Soul Survivor) was talking about faithful leaders and named Nicky as an excellent example of one of them).

I did not transcribe the interview, I just took notes – like I do in most services I am in, as I was deeply impacted by her life I wanted to make sure I could refer to it again. I know by reading this you will be inspired, blessed and you too will want to know how your life can be more joyful and give honour to God. Words in italics are my additions.

In answer to a ‘top tip” for those in HTB, Darlene answered: Serve the Lord with gladness. In everything you do. Not in a cheesy ‘do it with a smile’ but deep inner joy. Throughout the evening, she reinforced the scripture that His Joy is your strength.

Nehemiah 8:10 for the joy of the Lord is your strength! (NLT)

She explained that this joy and the notion of serving with gladness is woven through the Bible.

Isn’t that amazing? How easy is it for us to serve without gladness –  you know, to do the housework, or prepare dinner and for it to really be a chore. Rather we should see it a delight to serve those around us. And surely that joy will be infectious to those around us – I know it is impossible for my children to resist a good laugh or to be in with a joke they may not fully understand. Rather that joy be infectious in our home than sadness.

Often, Darlene refers to ‘drawing near or leaning into Him’. She explained this based on

James 4:8 he WILL draw near.

For the Lord will never disappoint. Lean in to Him, for the Father delights to be with us!

Nicky asked Darlene: How to be a follower? She answered that to be a follower is to give your all, she then desribed her journey from salvation as a teen, moving to Hillsongs Sydney and then the journey to become a Worship Leader.

Her pastor encouraged her, pushed her and she described Brian Houston as a good leader who sees in you what you don’t see in yourself.  He saw the gift of worship in Darlene’s life and even though she didn’t see it herself was willing to see that gift brought to life.

When talking about the ‘Heart of worship’, she demonstrated that is was not just within the music; but our response in encountering the creator. To worship which is to serve, to kiss towards, our(imperfect) lives poured out as an offering.

To worship ‘In spirit and in truth’:

But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. John 4:23

She asked everyone a question: What does that look like? Answering it is having permission to be all he created us to be.

She talked briefly about her recent book: The Art of Mentoring.  Culture of Service-

Mentoring. A Holy Spirit inspired type of mentoring – she was challenged to replace yourself 10 times, quickly.

Darlene was aware that a traditional model of mentoring is to get permission from say a leader to do things they would like of you; but she felt that people needed to be discipled and given to permission to be themselves, to be raised up and released rather than have a bottle neck of many awaiting permission: where you instead of becoming a mentor stiffle creativity and ideas as they must fit the original mould as opposed to the new thing.

(We bought the book, it is hiding somewhere as Ryan thought it would be a great gift for me for Christmas/Birthday. I hope it’s for my birthday as that’s 2 days before Christmas so a little sooner! I will imagine that I will write about the gems of truth as soon as I am given the book!)

The next part of the Q and A’s spoke so clearly into my life right now. Here I am, raising a beautiful family, loving the friends God has given to me, writing  blogs and devotionals, preaching the occasional sermon, seeking to find Joy. I am fully content with my season and at the same time knowing that there is more, but not yet! 

She reminded us not to despise the day of small beginnings. That the gold is in the journey. Use what God puts in your hands today. Watch him work the miraculous over your life. Use what he has entrusted to you – the good gifts and a time to grow in the journey and in our faith. To truly do what God has put in you. Use what’s in your heart and trust him to put it in your hand.

Worship and Justice are intwined for Darlene and she details a heart response to worship: Truthful worship in song. When we encounter a living God our response is right, we may kneel, weep, fall, fast or feast. Meanings of the word: to serve.

Often our first response when we are saved is: what can I do to serve? After time, we lose this.

Through music and song: Worship is therefore a vehicle for human heart to express  to God.  A way that our human heart can experience the divine. In a quote from Mother Teresa: You’ll never know Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have got.

So, whether worship is worship for you is up to you. You decide to worship.

remember the times you’ve been to Church and not ‘felt’ like worshipping? Or the band wasn’t quite ‘right’ or the song choice was ‘poor’ or ‘I could have done better’. Ahhhh. Yes I have had all of those thoughts. Admittedly, but not recently. Worship is my gift to God and when I have the chance I want to do it as fully and with my whole heart as much as I can – and even though more often than not in worship at Church: I will be carrying little Ben or sorting out some crayons for Beth or rescuing a flag from disturbing the person next to me. Worship in my heart, in my home is beautiful. I am alone, there are no distractions and I can feel His Presence – for me it is not then about the band, the song choice it is only about my will: Will I worship or will I do something else?

Darlene referred to the ‘blanket of sadness’ laid over the world by the enemy. This is shown by the statistics that more money is spent on anti depression pills than the money spent on overseas aid.  Sadness stops you from giving.

And not just financially. It is hard to give life if you are overcome by a blanket of sadness. It is hard to rejoice in another if you are slumped by sadness.

She suggests that by walking with joy puts people at ease.

In closing, Darlene gave some glorious gems which I list below:

• The ‘genius’ serve with humility.
• Thank God for where he has put you today.
• Dream really big.
• Thank Him all the way.
• Keep praising even of it looks like all hell is breaking loose all over the world.
• Choose to lead and to serve.
• Lay down your life to serve.
• Trust God with your future.
• You have been placed on earth on purpose, entrusted with these days.
• Trust God and do well with what He has put in your hands.

Can you tell why I was so inspired listening to her? Her life is full of Joy, she knows what it is to give, and to life a full life. Thank you for sharing your precious heart. Love a xox

Me: a reflection

What a beautiful few days I have spent with my family. Thanks to teacher training days = days at home Bethany and I have been baking mince pies (totally delish ones) and peppermint creams with dark chocolate. Yummy. Benjamin has been learning to talk. And real words too. Like ‘luv woo’. Yep my boy says that he loves me And so many other things, really cute in his gruff boys’ voice ‘hank woo’ is thank you but a few octaves lower than one would usually talk. He is adorbs!

Bethie stayed at mums and Ryan and Ben did the gardening, so I could do what ever I wanted. So I went to the hairdressers. I didn’t have my usual girl as I wanted an appointment TODAY…. But my new hairdresser was equally lovely. After a few chats and styles she blurted out ‘you love your life don’t you!’

Yes I totally do. What a beautiful reflection on my life. As I sat there looking in the mirror watching her cut the dry ends and restyle my fringe I was delighted that ‘my life leaks’ for the good. I wasn’t putting on a show. I was just being me. And enjoying the moment of being pampered.

We are now only a month away from my big thirtieth birthday (party) I am so excited to enter my next decade. My (gorgeous) husband has bought me THE best present ever. And he said I can open it when it arrives. Ahhhhh I cannot wait. It arrives 1st December, what a fabulous start to my birthday month  You want to know what it is don’t you? Well. I can’t tell yet. I don’t want to ruin the surprise!!! (yes, of course I know what it is. Ryan said I’d been wanting one for a long time…. I had no idea I had. Well, I do remember seeing one in a shop window in August and saying ‘ahhh I would love one of these. One day…!’ And then an old lady near me pointed out the price tag and said that I could probably find a better one. But a more beautiful one? I wasn’t sure. But I did…. I mean, we did!)

And then we will spend a couple of days away together – sans children – first time since we had two… We are really looking forward to the ‘birthday break’ and enjoying coffee shops without having to ask for it to be poured into a ‘to go’ cup (see, we won’t give up on our faves!). We will enjoy walking the river, browsing shops, shopping perhaps, but mostly completing our conversations in the daytime. Lovely interruptions happen just when I’m about to make a big point – ahh Ben’s in the fish tank. Or just as Ryan is telling me an answer; Beth needs attention right NOW. Can’t wait. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But for 2-3 days we will enjoy alone time

This weekend has been great, although I have an early meeting at Church… early… I am ready. And so excited for the coming weeks. Then it will be Christmas. Beth went into the garden and brought in some really long branches, and I popped them in a vase (they are just sticks with buds no greenary) and they look quite trendy in the vase. Funnily enough Beth is refering to this as her ‘Christmas Tree’ awww I think we’ll have a proper one too my girly! In the mean time, I might just put some twinkly lights on the branches…

Hope you had a great weekend too. Love a xox

Your Life Leaks

So last week, Jenn Johnson wrote a series of tweets summing up that ‘your life leaks’ in all situations. Good and bad. Everything you do, everything you say is that comes from your heart leaks. Good AND bad!

Obviously, we want our lives to be a spring of life – a lovely river of clean water spilling onto others and bringing joy to their lives. Obviously, we don’t want to be a murky, stagnant swamp that stinks. Powee – I want to hold my nose, or just scrunch it up a little.

Proverbs 23:7 (AMP) For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

My life leaks: What I think comes out as an action. What I spend time on matters. What I say affects others. Your life leaks too. That comment, that look, that too-busy-to-talk-even-though-you-look-like-you-need-a-hug, that attitude someone saw.

I am not talking about acting like a perfect person. It’s tiring. Being fake doesn’t work. And you don’t win any prizes. None. Zilch. Well, unless you’re acting – and then you might earn some ££ or $$ for your efforts (but unusual!). Nope. Being a perfect person is impossible. Trying too hard is, well, silly. It takes up too much time and you forget to think about the small things. Rather, the important things that make up your life.

Leaky Life. What do I mean? I mean a heart that causes thoughts to become actions;  actions that are not honouring.  That are unkind. That are cruel. That upset others (meaning to, or without care and unknowingly hurt another).

So, can you see the leaky areas of your life? I can see mine. It was a harder post to compose. I have been thinking on it for a week. Thinking about the concequences of admitting to myself that ‘my life leaks’ and sometimes it’s not all that sweet… By taking notice of it, and addressing it in my life. I WILL CHANGE. By asking God – who was the one who allowed this message to connect to a place in my heart – to help me, He will. By asking God to show me thoughts and life patterns which cause a stink – He will. By asking for help, the Helper will give me guidance and wisdom to speak lovingly, care gracefully and act graciously to those who come near me.

May your life leak in all the right places! heehee love a xox

 

I didn’t see that coming :)

Well. What a weekend. What a truly fantastic weekend. Well, I’m choosing to see it this way….

I didn’t know that Beth wasn’t very well on Saturday, but we stayed home. Which meant on Saturday night when she went to bed I KNEW she was ill. Sunday am early trip to the emergency doctor. She had tonsilitis (so much sympathy for her. I had it in February – three times – those blogs were called ‘I lost my sparkle’… I didn’t know I had tonsilitis and didn’t know what was wrong with me )

So, we had to stay home Sunday. Which turned out to be the release of my Dad’s book: The Blueprints of Heaven.

Finally I can tell you. This ‘book’ was presented to me as a transcription of at least 15 x 2 hour sermons (word for word) and it was my joy to turn it into a readable book for the publisher. It took ages. For hours and hours I would read, re-read, edit, re-edit and then see what Dad thought. Then I did ‘final edit 2′ and didn’t see the black folder for about 3 months. Until Friday night. Dad presented me with my own copy of the book – the hard work and edits look so beautiful in a perfect bound book. It was completed. I am delighted to have been involved in the early stages of the project.

A sweet friend, infact two, texted me yesterday to tell me that as I enabled something for someone else, they believe God will make it happen for me. (please read this blog on ‘Making Something Happen For Someone Else‘ for more background into what I believe on this… and whether or not there is a biblical basis for the statement!).

Anyways, that was yesterday at 1pm. I had made a Pork Sweet & Sour casserole, and an upside-down pineapple and coconut pudding. Then I got a phone call. My parents weren’t able to take a lovely couple out for lunch, could we host them? Of course. I had food ready. Just needed to tidy up the track, the marble run and anything else the BBs were playing with.

Then I realised who we would be hosting – a lovely, lovely couple – the MD of the publishing company (you are going to want to read that make something… blog to fully understand this). I didn’t see THAT coming!

So there we are. They know I love to write, I mentioned you  - lovely blog readers – and my journey of writing. My hopes, and dreams for the future. Our children were a delight: Bethany perked up for dinner and when Ryan talked about his childhood in Zimbabwe, Bethany retold the story of ‘Daddy and the (pet) Zebra’, it was darling. As I cleared the table she told them she went to the beach every day…. Confused, I helped her ‘The sandpit B?’ ‘ Yes, but I call it the beach!’ And Ben was his totally cheeky, but exceptionally adorable self.

I couldn’t help but think: If I’d finished project One (shall I refer to them numerically…) Or project 2,3,4,5,6,7, etc then I would have said ‘Oh I’ve done this already…. and it’s finished’. But, I couldn’t. It was the perfect end to my procrastination. I have a lot of evenings at home this week as there is a Conference at Church and I can only make some day sessions. So that gives me FOUR evenings. That’s more than enough time to complete project One.

I promise this WILL be the last blog on me not completing things. Look forward to what I can complete Would it have been a different chain of events? Am I slowing my destiny down? And a gazillion more questions… Well. To make sure that I am not slowing my destiny down. I better speed up

It’s going to be a homey-cosy-snuggly day helping Beth get better, and keeping Ben away from the germs. Um. How does one do that… Face Mask. Dettol?!

With a heart that remains surprised as I walk this journey. A xox

The power of a word

A word has the power to bring life or death. A kind word has the power to encourage, uplift and inspire: it is a word of life. A word of criticism has the power to upset, discourage and deflate.
I am more aware of this as even drawing a comparison is a word of criticism. I want my words to be words of life-words I speak over my children, husband, family and friends. I don’t want to be tearing down people through the power of my tongue.

So, if our Tongue, as it says in the bible, is like a rudder which can guide the ship this way and that; but is such a tiny piece(relatively!) then how do I control this pink muscle
Well, Phillipians 3 reminds us to fix our eyes on things that are good, pure and lovely. One of my favourite verses for overcoming negative thoughts. Mum used to tell us to think about good things if we were scared. To think about God’s goodness is one way to leash the wild, out of control tongue almost forcing it into submission that it will speak well of others, will encourage others and will not criticise…. But is it really our Tongue that has a life of its own, unknowingly speaking without the brains’ sayso? Surely a thought leads to an action, an action leads to a word? So, by controlling our thoughts and therefore our actions, our little rudder of a Tongue can be guided-rather than misguided – and can become powerful at bringing life once again.

Try it! I am. I was retelling a story to Ryan a few nights ago about how I made a comparison and it sounded horrible and I was really upset with myself for saying it. He told me how I get really upset about what I say. Shocked, I asked if I did it all the time! He reminded me that I don’t but when I do it affects me. I don’t want to draw comparisons because they ultimately are criticisms.

Funny to think that after my comparison, I was at a playgroup and someone mentioned that their darling angel was in top set literacy, numeracy and could count and recognise up to 40, or was it 80, and a whole lot more exciting facts (that, unfortunately my girl has not yet mastered….) I was totally impressed and wondered at what point my parenting as a parent and as a teacher had failed my daughter. Only later when I mentioned about b writing a letter to the teacher for a bread recipe did I realise that my girl wasn’t “behind” and might see an influx of letters I was rather bothered about the setting and streaming 4 year olds. Bothered so much that at this point I will not find out which group b is in. I don’t want pressure to perform at 4. Or 10. Maybe at 16, aww she’ll only be 15 when she takes her gcse’s but still, I want her to continue to love life, write letters, dance and twirl and sing and chat. (and the age related things that follow, but for neither of my bbs to lose the thrill of life and the fun they find) And can she chat? (if you know me you will honestly have no idea where she gets that from!! Lol) So my initiation into the child comparison was a bit of a flop. I felt awkward. I decided that even if the genius can count and recognise up to 80 and everything else then I must celebrate too. Because being genuine about a child’s success is really important. And I don’t want to be a boasty mum. I just want the best for my children, today, tomorrow and for the rest of their precious lives. Speaking a word of life to my children is relatively easy, speaking a word of life to genius child should also be easy-because words encourage, uplift and inspire and that is what I want to do. Wherever I am. Whoever I am with.

With hope that my Tongue will be a life giving Tongue. And yours too! Love a xox

Ps: apologies for previous post on writing and reading? I want impressed. But somehow managed to publish it rather than save as draft. You probably didn’t read it so that’s ok. Am meant to be trying to write a paragraph per day of quality. But I got so busy with some other tasks, and I barely had time to bake so my blog fell even further behind. Right back to it. I enjoy the challenge of writing something new. I am preaching next week at church. After a couple of suggestions from my sister (I think they were jokes?) I am decided. It’s hopefully going to bring freedom to people and inspire then in their life….. I am quite excited but won’t be able to blog on that subject til after Sunday- I don’t want to spoil it for my blog readers at church!!!! Xo