Right place // Right time

 

Have you heard that phrase recently: ‘I was in the right place at the right time’ More and more often I am hearing this, when I talk to friends, or when I overhear conversations, or when friends retell their friends’ experiences.

So. Have you been in the right place at the right time? I have, many times. For the right job. For the right home! And many more besides. And what about meeting new friends, right place – right time isn’t it? Or could it be more?

Of course, I believe it’s more than that. I was reading the story of Rebecca and her son Isaac in Romans 9:10-12 (MSG)

To Rebecca, also, a promise was made that took priority over genetics. When she became pregnant by our one-of-a-kind ancestor, Isaac, and her babies were still innocent in the womb—incapable of good or bad—she received a special assurance from God. What God did in this case made it perfectly plain that his purpose is not a hit-or-miss thing dependent on what we do or don’t do, but a sure thing determined by his decision, flowing steadily from his initiative.

Do you see the promise, and the destiny for our lives? There we are: incapable of good or bad and God makes the most wonderful plan for our lives, determined by His decision & from His initiative we enter the world. I see this for our children as I know they are born for a purpose with a HUGE destiny, and then if you think back… This means that for their destiny and our future grand-children’s destiny to be outworked so much in the past was to happen. Ryan and I were to meet and marry. Our parents were to meet and marry, our grand and great-grandparents and it goes on and on and on

And there we are: plain and clear: God’s purpose is nor a hit or miss thing. So often we try to work towards the bigger picture, afraid that we might somehow miss it, or mess up on the journey. However we’re learning that each and every single day counts towards the ‘bigger picture’: everything matters. So every day then we must be in the ‘right place at the right time’?

I had some funny interactions with people today. A lovely 83 year old granny (with a 12 year old white westie dog) told me how old she was and there she was carrying her shopping as she walked around Merry Hill. I was so proud of her: I think she wanted to talk to Alyssia, but she saw I had time and told me her story, I didn’t want to look rude and rush off, but after a few minutes she said: right, better go then…

 

Sometimes it hard(er) to see the big destiny that is unfolding before us, but as I look back, I know for sure that I was in the ‘right place at the right time’ as I made choices to step into the destiny planned before time, for me. Thank you God for incredible destiny you have for us, the way that you bring lives together and then bring children into those destines. Thank you God for your incredible plans, purposes and adventures – and that each small choice is part of the big destiny, whether we see it, or not. Thank you God that you see those choices and give us wisdom in each one. Amen

Love A xox

ps £100 challenge is going amazingly….. although I have spent nearly all of it (!) I have to say I was so careful at the shops today. I could easily have spent £30 on baby clothes/girls accessories/things for Ben. So well done me And if you’re doing it too just don’t add lentils to everything hoping that the food goes further. It does because less people want to eat lentils, not because lentils are money saving in themselves. The country soup barley mix however did fill out a few meals, but need to boil for longer as the dried beans didn’t swell, so would be more costly in gas/electricity as they need longer to cook. who knew?! xox

2013: hello!

2013: hello!

What a lovely Christmas break we had. Before Christmas, we (our family of FIVE!) went to Cornwall for a week, we had booked a gorgeous barn and it was fab. So so relaxing, fields, peace and quiet! Then the hot water didn’t work for bath time, and the owners upgraded us to the farm house- we were treated to an Aga, a log burner, a jacuzzi in the courtyard and too many bedrooms for all of us! It really was a wonderful week off – we enjoyed walking the beaches, coffee shops, tea rooms, a little walk a through the farm and lots of chats!

What a lovely start to our Christmas holidays! We had so many family days, relaxing days and a big family party with a lot of my aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins and my lovely Nanny!

On new years’ eve, Ryan and I had a meal together (yes, it was at home, but it was a proper 3 course meal with everything we love from restaurants: soup, steak and creme brûlée!) we remembered our highlights from 2012- the best thing from each month. I look forward to making more memories this year! 2013: I haven’t got any big plans, definitely no new babies for us! I am hopeful that this will be a wonderful year ahead, hard to think bigger when life is so full of lovely family, friends, things and hope already! Although I do want to be more regular with my blog, after all Alyssia is 6 months old and is falling very nicely into a routine that fits around us all! Ben is starting a new nursery-he just turned 3, and maybe this will be the start of term for Bethany who will enjoy going to school, and hopefully no tears… (after a long time of her not wanting to go because she misses me…)

Ohhhh yes: the £100 challenge is upon us again. This year we want to save up for some exciting things and have realised we can probably reduce our weekly spend to £100. It may not be the most exciting, I already tried lentil lasagne (way too many lentils!) but it worked the past 2 times we did it and we were able to do some amazing things with the savings! So I’ll try and be a bit more thrifty with the food shopping and buy a lot less “cute, gotta have it” things for the bbs-this part will be hard! I’ll let you know how it goes!

I do hope you have a wonderful year ahead full of promise, and hopes that are fulfilled <3

Thanks for following my blog! Love a xox

2012

Hello 2012. So lovely to see you….! This year I will be reading, writing, baking, working and loving my family. Shopping, cooking, teaching, you know. The usual. The usual for my family and I.

We have two or three MAJOR things about to happen this year. The first is in under three weeks. And I promised you would be the first to know… Ryan’s CD: The Deepest Part is going to be released on 25th January 2012 BIG SMILES SQUEALS OF DELIGHT We got this far and now you can listen to some of the samples from the forthcoming album. Go to www.ryanbakerbarnes.com to listen to the first 4 songs and read about Ryan. Go on…. You will thank me I am so excited about this project. It has  meant a lot of travel to and from London, a lot of writing and rewriting songs, a lot of editing, re-editing, working out, calculating, creative exhaustion (well, almost) and a fab photoshoot. Totally worth it. And totally amazing. I’m writing as if it’s my project…. heehee. It almost is. I have co-written (say <5%) one of the songs…. We were in a chapel in Stellenbosch, SA. We were staying with some most lovely friends of my parents. And they had a chapel in their home So Ryan took his guitar and I took a five month old Bethany into the most lavish sanctuary to God. I was reading the bible and Beth was crawling in and out of the guitar case. I read aloud and Ryan incorporated the scripture into his song. That was years ago. And then he found this song and reworked it…. I love the way this album has taken a journey. All kinds of music people were involved early on: Kevin Prosch, Brian Johnson, some British people.  And now we are almost there. This has been one lengthy process. And one I would gladly do again Did you hear me? Yep. It’s been worth the journey and I look forward to the next one.

This past two weeks has actually been bliss. 2 weeks with my family, my children, my books, my home…. And our friends. We have had the best time. I am sad that tomorrow the holiday ends School for B and work for Ryan. (booohoooo hooo) I am making plans for Tuesday so I don’t feel lonely. Ben’s vocab has GREATLY improved having Beth home for the holidays. They are so cute having little chats together. They make plans and play together. I will miss that. But, come Thursday Ben starts his little preschool adventure. I am excited for him to settle into leaving me for a few hours a week. He will enjoy it – I know Beth did.

Which means that I will have time to work/write/study etc again. And until June I will make the most of this…. Not that life stops when you have another baby. Ha. Imagine. But the rhythm of life will change once more. And I’m looking forward to that change, and wondering what it will look like. How does a family of five look differently than a family of four? I overheard Ryan talking to a friend about how having a newborn – child number one – is the biggest change to family life! The friend said that baby 3 just slips in…. Well, baby BB3 we look forward to your grand entrance and would love you to ‘slip in’, join the fun, the laughter, the love and let your personality bring fulness to our family

Not one for resolutions. I can’t keep to them. Sigh. I want to be more loving, kind, tidy, helpful, wise, gracious etc. But they are daily prayers rather than a year long project I will leave that bit from my blog…

But there are always things I want to do/complete/acheive – again on a daily basis. So I will keep on keeping on!

I am reading Darlene Zschech’s ‘The Art of Mentoring’ and I LOVE it. You should get it It has many values that will inspire, lead and allow you to mentor others and be mentored. It is stirring my heart to read her story and to see how God takes a precious life, moulds it and makes it so beautiful…. HOPE

Have another brilliant year. Thanks for reading, enjoy the ride… WordPress sent me an email about how many people have read this blog and something like 70 carriages of a NY subway train have clicked here to read……. wow! I hope you weren’t squeezed up too tight

Thanks for following my journey – may your 2012 be more amazing than you thought possible, bring you more delight and memories to treasure. Follow your heart and hatch that dream.. go on, it’s a good year for that!

Love A xox

Christmas Eve & Traditions & a bit about Mary

Hello Almost Christmas. I know it’s close because my birthday has been, and gone. We really celebrated this year. Over the month of December. I’ve never done that before. And don’t think it will happen every year Thanks to all my family and friends and my little BBs for the love

I don’t know if I told you what my birthday present from Ryan was… well… It’s a Kenwood Kmix in Almond. It arrived at the beginning of December – and I was allowed to open it It is FABULOUS. It came with 3 attachments and I have used them all. It sits right next to my cream scales and on the other side is the recipe stand. It is a perfect addition to my kitchen: Welcome Kmix you will be used almost daily, and will make my friends & family happy with the cakes, cupcakes, loaves… and I’m going to try and make butter (one blogger said once you make it you will never buy butter/marg again, I would like to try that!)

So Christmas Eve. We don’t really have any traditions as a family for Christmas or Christmas Eve. As the Barnes family are in Christ Church – NZ (Which had more earthquakes and you are in our prayers…) we won’t be seeing them this Christmas – unless we skype So it’s a Baker Christmas. However, Beth will count the number of Bakers present (3) and then will count the number of BB’s present (4 or will she include baby bump!? 5) and then she will say who the winner is. She does this with girls and boys in a room. I think she likes to be on the winning team so doesn’t count certain items if she knows there’s less….

What do you do that’s become a ‘tradition’. Of course, we will sit down to eat a most delicious Christmas Dinner, we will go to our friends Church for the 11am service. We will open our gifts. We will enjoy playing with the children’s toys. And I hope that we will go for a little walk – to feed the horses? I’m so badly allergic to most animals, but I like going for a walk to let the children throw apples and carrots into the fields……

I will read the Christmas Story: The Bible Version. Every year when I read it on Christmas it feels more real than before. It’s as though my walk with God has deepened in a new way and I am thankful for his incredible Birth, his self-less Death and his miraculous Resurrection: From Luke 1 (read the rest of the story here )

The Birth of Jesus Foretold

²⁶ In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, ²⁷ to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. ²⁸ Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you!^[d]”

²⁹ Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. ³⁰ “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! ³¹ You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. ³² He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. ³³ And he will reign over Israel^[e] forever; his Kingdom will never end!”

³⁴ Mary asked the angel, “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.”

³⁵ The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. ³⁶ What’s more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she’s now in her sixth month. ³⁷ For nothing is impossible with God.^[f]”

³⁸ Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her.

There are so many things I could talk about from this passage. I know I will leave some out – not because they are not important, not because they don’t speak to me, but because I will only highlight some.

1. Mary was favoured. What was she doing? What was special about her life? How was her life different than EVERY other girl in the world at that time? Maybe she led a simple life of devotion and her actions were honouring to God. Maybe she always knew? Her life had destiny and purpose. A destiny and purpose that would cause her to be despised by others. That would see the very life that she nurtured crucified. [I feel silly to write this bit, but it must have been really hard for her as a 40 ish week pregnant Mama ride on a donkey FOR DAYS....... No wonder she gave birth when they arrived - I will remember this if baby 3 is late;) ]

2. Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. – Have you ever thought you’ve heard something from God: whether an Angel came to tell you or whether it was a spontaneous thought that appeared out of no-where? Being confused as to whether you made this up, or disturbed as to how the plan would work out… I can learn a lot from her. She hears from God – via an Angel. And then the natural mind seeks to understand. I love the miracle of the birth of Jesus. Here Mary is reminding the Angel that she is a virgin…. Her mind is telling her that it is impossible.

3. But she has faith: Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her. The Angel left when his work was done. Mary speaks words of truth – she is the Lord’s servant (as we can all choose to be) And her words are so important as she says “may everything you have said about me come true”. This is significant also to our own lives. God has a wonderful plan for our lives – where destiny meets purpose and you live life with clarity, knowing your place in the world………. We can use the phrase in the same way as Mary to let the Masterplan for our lives unravel. Rather than speaking negatively and almost criticising the things that God has destined for us or for others.

This leads onto a verse that I awoke with a couple of mornings ago: I pondered on the words ‘how vast are your thoughts for me’ (It is from Psalm 139). I had paraphrased it in my mind, but that’s ok! Anyways, I lay there awake, in the dark, in the stillness – I was the only one awake – like usual And I began to think of God’s thoughts for me. I got to about 10 and then my mind wandered off and I got out of bed to make a pot of coffee…

I am reminded this morning of that verse once more, Psalm 139 – see verse 17.

¹³For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb.

¹⁴I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.

¹⁵My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery].

¹⁶Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.

¹⁷How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!^(E)

¹⁸If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.

God has more thoughts about us than the number of the sand, and I got fidgety after numero 10…! These are thoughts about our future, about the plans He has for us, about the destiny awaiting to be unravelled. Imagine if I’d have got to even 20 – it would have set me up for the day. If I was thinking about what God thinks towards/about me, then honestly 20 good thoughts verses say 1 negative comment from someone else (say) that comment would have NO impact as I would be so secure in God’s thoughts for me. Go on, try it

And finally: The very reason for Jesus’ Birth – not for my traditions, not for a delicious dinner – though it may all be part of celebrating the Messiah’s Birth I must leave you with this: John 3:16

¹⁶For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (^[a]unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

Thank you God for prizing the world, for prizing me and my family and friends (and the rest of the world who I don’t know! I sound like Beth when she says grace ‘thank you Lord Jesus for all the people in the world, I love them all and thankyouformydinner amen”!) that you would give your son for all.

Thank you for giving your most precious gift to the world. Help us to trust, cling and rely on you in a new way as we remember your Son’s glorious birth that made a way for our eternal life. THANK YOU Jesus for your life, and your sacrifice. AMEN xoxoxox

ps I’m feeling Christmassy now…. In a new way once more – maybe it’s ok we don’t have exact traditions: but people we can share the wonderful news with. Does that sound a little anti-commercial? Sorry… I did buy presents for my family and friends, I really did But I’m also glad that Christmas isn’t just about the presents and tinsel and turkey but a much deeper relationship – one that changed history and my story FOREVER x

Questions and Answers: An Interview with Darlene Zschech by Nicky Gumbel

On 28th November, Ryan arranged babysitters for us and we drove down to HTB London for the 1630 Service with Darlene Zschech (who even though I don’t know her I will from now on refer to her as Darlene). I have followed her on twitter for some time and her life is inspirational as a Mum, Grandma, Friend, Pastor and Worship Leader – I assumed she would love life – she really does Joy is her signature. Imagine if that would be true of my life too

The worship was truly beautiful, hearts across the building were worshipping, we were invited to praise, to love and to lean in towards the One who is worthy of it all. I loved it – I loved how my heart could worship in the atmosphere; a place with a rich heritage of worship.

During the interview; by Nicky Gumbel (who I now also follow on twitter – you will have heard of him –  Alpha, The Marriage course and so much more! I heard about him more this summer when Mike P (Soul Survivor) was talking about faithful leaders and named Nicky as an excellent example of one of them).

I did not transcribe the interview, I just took notes – like I do in most services I am in, as I was deeply impacted by her life I wanted to make sure I could refer to it again. I know by reading this you will be inspired, blessed and you too will want to know how your life can be more joyful and give honour to God. Words in italics are my additions.

In answer to a ‘top tip” for those in HTB, Darlene answered: Serve the Lord with gladness. In everything you do. Not in a cheesy ‘do it with a smile’ but deep inner joy. Throughout the evening, she reinforced the scripture that His Joy is your strength.

Nehemiah 8:10 for the joy of the Lord is your strength! (NLT)

She explained that this joy and the notion of serving with gladness is woven through the Bible.

Isn’t that amazing? How easy is it for us to serve without gladness –  you know, to do the housework, or prepare dinner and for it to really be a chore. Rather we should see it a delight to serve those around us. And surely that joy will be infectious to those around us – I know it is impossible for my children to resist a good laugh or to be in with a joke they may not fully understand. Rather that joy be infectious in our home than sadness.

Often, Darlene refers to ‘drawing near or leaning into Him’. She explained this based on

James 4:8 he WILL draw near.

For the Lord will never disappoint. Lean in to Him, for the Father delights to be with us!

Nicky asked Darlene: How to be a follower? She answered that to be a follower is to give your all, she then desribed her journey from salvation as a teen, moving to Hillsongs Sydney and then the journey to become a Worship Leader.

Her pastor encouraged her, pushed her and she described Brian Houston as a good leader who sees in you what you don’t see in yourself.  He saw the gift of worship in Darlene’s life and even though she didn’t see it herself was willing to see that gift brought to life.

When talking about the ‘Heart of worship’, she demonstrated that is was not just within the music; but our response in encountering the creator. To worship which is to serve, to kiss towards, our(imperfect) lives poured out as an offering.

To worship ‘In spirit and in truth’:

But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. John 4:23

She asked everyone a question: What does that look like? Answering it is having permission to be all he created us to be.

She talked briefly about her recent book: The Art of Mentoring.  Culture of Service-

Mentoring. A Holy Spirit inspired type of mentoring – she was challenged to replace yourself 10 times, quickly.

Darlene was aware that a traditional model of mentoring is to get permission from say a leader to do things they would like of you; but she felt that people needed to be discipled and given to permission to be themselves, to be raised up and released rather than have a bottle neck of many awaiting permission: where you instead of becoming a mentor stiffle creativity and ideas as they must fit the original mould as opposed to the new thing.

(We bought the book, it is hiding somewhere as Ryan thought it would be a great gift for me for Christmas/Birthday. I hope it’s for my birthday as that’s 2 days before Christmas so a little sooner! I will imagine that I will write about the gems of truth as soon as I am given the book!)

The next part of the Q and A’s spoke so clearly into my life right now. Here I am, raising a beautiful family, loving the friends God has given to me, writing  blogs and devotionals, preaching the occasional sermon, seeking to find Joy. I am fully content with my season and at the same time knowing that there is more, but not yet! 

She reminded us not to despise the day of small beginnings. That the gold is in the journey. Use what God puts in your hands today. Watch him work the miraculous over your life. Use what he has entrusted to you – the good gifts and a time to grow in the journey and in our faith. To truly do what God has put in you. Use what’s in your heart and trust him to put it in your hand.

Worship and Justice are intwined for Darlene and she details a heart response to worship: Truthful worship in song. When we encounter a living God our response is right, we may kneel, weep, fall, fast or feast. Meanings of the word: to serve.

Often our first response when we are saved is: what can I do to serve? After time, we lose this.

Through music and song: Worship is therefore a vehicle for human heart to express  to God.  A way that our human heart can experience the divine. In a quote from Mother Teresa: You’ll never know Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have got.

So, whether worship is worship for you is up to you. You decide to worship.

remember the times you’ve been to Church and not ‘felt’ like worshipping? Or the band wasn’t quite ‘right’ or the song choice was ‘poor’ or ‘I could have done better’. Ahhhh. Yes I have had all of those thoughts. Admittedly, but not recently. Worship is my gift to God and when I have the chance I want to do it as fully and with my whole heart as much as I can – and even though more often than not in worship at Church: I will be carrying little Ben or sorting out some crayons for Beth or rescuing a flag from disturbing the person next to me. Worship in my heart, in my home is beautiful. I am alone, there are no distractions and I can feel His Presence – for me it is not then about the band, the song choice it is only about my will: Will I worship or will I do something else?

Darlene referred to the ‘blanket of sadness’ laid over the world by the enemy. This is shown by the statistics that more money is spent on anti depression pills than the money spent on overseas aid.  Sadness stops you from giving.

And not just financially. It is hard to give life if you are overcome by a blanket of sadness. It is hard to rejoice in another if you are slumped by sadness.

She suggests that by walking with joy puts people at ease.

In closing, Darlene gave some glorious gems which I list below:

• The ‘genius’ serve with humility.
• Thank God for where he has put you today.
• Dream really big.
• Thank Him all the way.
• Keep praising even of it looks like all hell is breaking loose all over the world.
• Choose to lead and to serve.
• Lay down your life to serve.
• Trust God with your future.
• You have been placed on earth on purpose, entrusted with these days.
• Trust God and do well with what He has put in your hands.

Can you tell why I was so inspired listening to her? Her life is full of Joy, she knows what it is to give, and to life a full life. Thank you for sharing your precious heart. Love a xox

Completion.

So I overcame paperwork mountain. And I will tell you how: It was so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t use this method before. You will need 1 ring binder and about 25 polypocket files. Sort your paper into piles. Then label the piles. Pop into polypockets and repeat every time a fresh piece of paper enters the house.

Well. It worked. I can do this for receipts/bills/insurance/admin…. But now I have a place to store ‘my paper work’ Files like ‘cake’, ‘recipes’, ‘school’, ‘ideas’, ‘lessons I’ve written’ (which I have to say, I am so glad I have compiled them together. This is the biggest pile! I had to make a sub-file!) ‘book-pending’ – sadly, this is still pending. I wish it wasn’t. I wish I would get a move on.

And this is what I was thinking about. I did the paperwork. I did 245/500 mini project (which is almost half way to completion), I wrote two teachings for groups this week. But why do I find it so hard to complete something I am so desperate to have finished? It’s almost as though I could finish the tasks that even if more difficult (who has done an hours’ teaching on tongues and the interpretation of the gift? Yeh that was difficult but I did it…) But something more personal, with more reward – perhaps – is so much more difficult. If you’ve read this blog long enough, you’ll realise that this is a re-occurring theme.

Perhaps it’s because I don’t have a deadline. I work incredibly well towards deadlines. (I read this back and was going to delete it, but it’s true!). My deadline for the 500 mini project (will tell after next week when it is complete) is, next Wednesday. 7 days. And I only have another 1.5 hours to complete the task, and it will be done today.

So should I set myself a deadline? I was reading about completion in the Bible – and this has really helped me. Perhaps it will spur you on to complete whatever exciting project is sitting in your mental to do folder

So now finish doing it, that your [enthusiastic] readiness in desiring it may be equalled by your completion of it according to your ability and means. (2 Cor 8:11)

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. (Phil 1:6)

The first verse refer to the completion of things that we have begun, and enthusiasm to complete things – it feels like short term plans. Then there is the second verse, the work that God has started in our  lives of which He is perfecting leading to completion in heaven – a long term plan.

May you (and I!) know what it is to complete the things that we have begun and that He who has begun a good work in our lives will continue that until completion. Love A xox

Blog 100: Life after Death

At Church yesterday I observed the most beautiful, heartfelt, profound worship in another person I have yet seen in the face of death. Let me explain. A wonderful lady, mother, grandmother and friend died on 1-9-11 due to an embolism. She had been fighting cancer.  I knew her to chat to and have always seen her worshipping at the front of Church in the worship times. Sometimes holding her grand-daughter who is a similar age to Ben. And sometimes with her hands raised in abandonment to God. My husband told me that she had always said ‘the cancer will not kill me’. It didn’t.

The daughters and family were at Church on Sunday, and somehow I expected them to be well, ‘in mourning’. They were. But it was the most beautiful way of expressing their gratitude for their mother’s life. The way they worshipped and praised God, the way I saw their tears fall as they knelt before God. The way they did not let their emotion get in the way of worshipping God for His greatness in the midst of the passing of their mum. I learned so much by watching this precious family in a few minutes. Honestly, to begin with I didn’t realise who they were. Until I looked closely – I don’t usually watch people in worship, as it is such a personal thing. And I quite like to close my eyes in worship so I can forget about that which is around me and not have to concentrate on my surroundings, and possible distractions… As I looked I suddenly burst into tears. Silent tears. They knew their Mum was in heaven. This was the end of her life as a mortal body and the beginning of her life in heaven, with God, with Jesus, with Holy Spirit. Her body will be made whole – in a spirit kind of way! Her past hurts, fears, rejections will all be understood and moreover, will be healed as the Great Healer breathes life into her again. As she entered into Eternity, she will experience Heaven. She will actually live there in its physical place. She will worship. What ever she was good at on Earth she will now be most excellent at. She will live, fully and – forever.

Now I understand why the family were worshipping. I understand my hope of Heaven is very real. But it is easy. Too easy I think. To put your circumstance in the way of worshipping God. To put your emotion before worship. To choose to with hold worship from God. I have done it. But I watched a beautiful lesson yesterday and it enabled me to understand this verse in a new dimension, John 4:23-4 (Amplified Version):

A time will come, however, indeed it is already here, when the true (genuine) worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth (reality); for the Father is seeking just such people as these as His worshipers.    ²⁴God is a Spirit (a spiritual Being) and those who worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth (reality).

At the end of the worship, we began singing Phil Wickhams’ ‘Your Beautiful’: 

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful

When we arrive at eternitys shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

With a forever hopeful heart! A xox

Hope

This weekend I was involved in so many children’s activities. Which came down to a LOT of hard work and preparation. A lot of preparation. I will always be over prepared when it comes to those events rather than under prepared. Now. It didn’t go as planned. One thing and another meant I had to ditch my planning and take a different course….. I know, I should be more flexible. I’m not! I was really upset about a few things, the way I thought things went, the way I felt let down and my response to the situations. Actually it was my response that upset me most Before we went to bed last night Ryan and I talked and talked and talked and prayed. We always talk. We often pray together. But last night was different. Maybe because of how I was feeling.

But we were once again totally and utterly overwhelmed by the grace of God. Abundance of grace. Extravagant Grace. Grace. Grace. Grace!

Look at this scripture,

^{HEBREWS 6:10} For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers,^[a] as you still do. ¹¹ Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. ¹² Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.

I was lying in bed reading the bible and Ryan was asking when I could turn the light off. I said let me read 5 chapters. But I just got engrossed and read to number 6. Then it hit me! The word of God that was to inspire me and allow me to make sense of my day was in verse 10. I was full on caring, but it didn’t seem enough. I know God is not unjust. I know I don’t ultimately do things for praise. But, I will keep on loving others as long as I live!! Because I would actually hate to be spiritually dull and indifferent. Yikes! Looks a bit like a promise from God doesn’t it-love and you will be alive! I want to inherit God’s promises! Don’t you?

Be blessed today, as you love on others and show you care. I was. I am! Bethany kept asking me to look after her properly today because she had a fever, by properly I think she meant with care-love her! A friend asking if there was anything I needed. And then finally by my mum coming to visit.

This might need a whole new post. But honestly, if you are best friends with your mum you will understand this, and if you aren’t but want to be, comment and I will really pray into it for you.

My mum is amazing, you might know her. She is one of the most generous women you will ever meet. Nothing is too much for her. She always has an answer, she is wise. She constantly believes in the love and unfailing promises of God. She will always make sure you check your attitude before you blame someone, which used to be annoying, but now I realise she has been teaching me that I am only responsible for me: My actions, and there better be good, healthy motives behind anything I do! And she is beautiful. So many people are blessed to have her as their pastor, but she’s my mum and “mopsie” to my children! Oh and if ever mum doesn’t think the topic or subject matter is encouraging she will just say two words “what ever” and backs off… And is very, very quick to forgive and ask forgiveness! I love that she finished work early just to pop in on us and made my day. Love you mum! Xoxox

Q: Why are the things you want to do the hardest to do?

So, I am a girl with a whole drawer full of dreams, journals full of hopes and a brain whirling with ideas. So why don’t I just get on and pursue them?

The things I want to do are not expensive, there is one that costs a few hundred pounds, but aside from that the others take…. TIME and ENERGY!

I have no problem knowing what ‘the desires of my heart are’, but knowing which one to pursue first. How do you work out what is important? How do you begin? How does an idea or a hope become reality? What if that dream has never been done before, there is no grid. You are the beginning.

How can I wrote a blog all about not getting on and doing what I want to, when all I want to do is get on and do? So why don’t I just get on and pursue them?

Time wasters: good answer, but I am also very good at time management, working from home, being a mum etc… so it’s not time. I could totally make time – less time doing things that don’t matter.

Energy: Now Ben sleeps through – horrraaayyyyyyyyyy! I have so much more energy. People who have children who wake every night for 15 months start living a strange life….. Start thinking a bit differently! I feel like ‘myself’ again and it’s only been a month. Ben is so over his silly wake ups, so much so that he goes to bed around 7 and wakes around 9. yes. NINE o CLOCK in the MORNING….!!!! Who would have thought. At this age, Beth was waking between 4 and 5 (am).

Fear: What if what I do isn’t good enough? What if it fails? What if my best idea doesn’t turn out so well? Then, I should just try again. But if it is fear of failure holding me back then I will never start anything, and will never be very good at anything.

It is totally fear of failure that holds me back. And really. What if one of my ideas fails? I’m made of pretty strong stuff. I don’t dwell in the past. I will move on. Might shed a tear. Might wake in the night and think about it. Might call a few friends to discuss what happened. But really Anna…….. Come on. Afraid of not doing something incase it goes wrong. That doesn’t sound like me. I am so glad I’ve discovered this

Q: Why are the things you want to do the hardest to do?

A:  In case I fail.

I was talking to a friend that weekend we were in Bath, and they explained that they had been reading about pursuing business ideas. A grade students go into business and do well. B grade students take risks. They make their first million, lose a million and make a million more!

I am somewhere in between. Obviously, I am not in business. Do I have business ideas? YES. Could they fail? YES. Could they succeed? YES!

Psalm 37:4 [amplified] Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart

I know this scripture. I say it to others. I pray it for my children. But look. The secret petitions – the drawers, the journals, the thoughts – delight myself in God.

Delight:

a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture:

something that gives great pleasure (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/delight)

By delighting in God, by Him being the focus of my life – by me enjoying the life God has given, who He has given and being pleased with everything the desires/hopes/dreams/ideas will be given to me. Amazing. Amazed?!

James 4:2 [amplified] You are jealous and covet [what others have] and your desires go unfulfilled; [so] you become murderers. [To hate is to murder as far as your hearts are concerned.] You burn with envy and anger and are not able to obtain [the gratification, the contentment, and the happiness that you seek], so you fight and war. You do not have, because you do not ask.

Burning with envy and anger, no thanks. But: ‘I do not have because I do not ask’. This verse hand in hand with the verse in Psalms makes me realise there is an alignment of heart and action. I can have a whole bureau full of dreams, a bookcase full of journals but if I do not ask, I won’t be getting anywhere. Fast. So, ‘the gratification, the contentment, and the happiness that you seek’ through God’s fulfillment of dreams in my life is possible by asking.

Whatever stage you are at with your dream—completion, may you have a blessed day, without a trace of fear!

Here’s to trying, and possibly failing but that’s the worst that could happen – so, here’s to success

Love xox

May

The fifth month. I always like to write on my calendar a promise or a word for the month. This month I’m not getting anything yet. Last month I wrote:

Extravagance, Breakthrough, Completion, Hope, Abundance

And I ticked them off as I felt like we received answers. The only one waiting for a tick is completion. We have some projects a building project, an interior decoration project, and a handful of ideas which seem further and further from completion.

April: What a brilliant month of extravagance, as we were blessed with amazing new friendships and restoration of ‘old’ ones. Of breakthrough – things we were hoping for and thinking about were confirmed and now as I think about May, I’m not sure what the month holds. God does. He will tell me. Am I listening?

Whatever the word for my month is, I will continue to pray that I am aligned with God’s will, that the doors He places before me I step into and that the things I want to do I get on and do, without hesitation!

LOVE xox