Baby, Baby, Baby oooh :)

Alyssia has now been in our lives for over a year She is 14 weeks old today, and add the 42 weeks of pregnancy = 1 year I read the blog from last year.  Where I prayed for a baby who would sleep well.

AND SHE DOES  :)

Sweet Lissy is THE dream baby. She sleeps from 8pm – 3am, feeds and settles back to sleep til when we all wake up. Who knew babies could do this? I am in shock, well, I used to be, when I was only woken once. I would sneak up to her and listen to her and check her… nope still sleeping. Not at all like Beth or Ben (8-9 wakes per night… no joke… almost not really worth calling it sleeping is it?)

Alyssia gurgles and smiles and laughs and coos and makes our family complete. She is totally loved by Bethany: who prayed for a blonde, blue-eyed girl. And she got it And Ben who just yesterday said to her (whilst I was pretending not to be watching him like a hawk… you never know!): ‘Liss, I think you are cute’. Ahhh what a sweet brother and sister Alyssia has.

There is so, so, so much more I could write about having a chilled out newborn, and the comparisons between babies who sleep in the day (Beth and Ben) and those who sleep only at night (yes, she doesn’t really like napping – but it means days are full and fun and nights are sleepy!). I love their three personalities, I love the way our house is full of laughter and toys and fun and when they are asleep we thank God for the blessing of them all.

I love what I have been given and am really enjoying maternity leave, being at home most of the time. Thinking of the future and all that I am made for, this season at home means I am focussing on writing. Thank you for the lovely comments on my book. It’s being proofed as we speak and then THAT graphic designer who I love soooo much is doing the rest <3

But even though I’m not working, I find myself trying to fit things in. I was walking into the village earlier, and heard the sound of the brook. I stopped. Listened. And paused. It was amazing to just listen (yes, the small things) I could have carried on walking up the hill and over the bridge but I wanted to wait and be still. And know. Just a moment. But it was a perfect moment.

Enjoying the moment Love Anna xox

20 weeks pregnant :)

So here I am. Here we are 20 weeks pregnant, well actually I’m 20w+3 days. My scan is a bit later on today. And no I’m not going to ask…. Looking forward to seeing this baby bump on screen. To see his/her legs, arms, body and cute little face (of course cute, have you seen my other two!?) heehee…

Last week was such a whirl. I wrote a blog entitled something like ‘pregnancy hormones’ anyways. I didn’t publish it. It was sad. I cried a lot last week. Then I realised I was really. beyond. tired. And rested so much. Surprisingly, I was way less emotional! I also met a friend for prayers. The kind where you completely trust God to deal with things that might be/are upsetting you, then you pray through the root problem. And honestly. I feel so different  (It’s called Sozo for those interested, but it was modified to fit into a short space of time)

So glad it was so easy to overcome. I was honestly in a whirl. I had a bunch of things to organise that all fell to pieces I had two big orders that almost went wrong, and even until yesterday was being delivered to a company called ‘road runner’….. Not ‘Revival Fires’ then Then we had a sweet, lovely guest from Finland come and stay for a few days – my children love having ‘sleep overs’ I guess that’s the best way to say we’re having someone come stay isn’t it? Beth kept asking for sleepovers with my mum, so we were able to appease her for a few days with our guest!

And then Ben and I got sick. And then we didn’t leave the house for 4 days…..! So I didn’t really feel like blogging, talking, writing, praying, reading etc. And it was somewhere in between the feeling sorry for myself and desperate for peace again that I prayed and asked for peace.

To know that I can ask for God’s peace to invade my heart, to know that He will never fail me, to know that my absence from prayers makes me want to know God more and see Him at work in my life, in life around me and in my families life.

I asked for peace. And I received peace. Yes I was still super glad when last week was over and there was less to do, time to get better, things I had organised would sort themselves out…

My prayer for you is that whatever you are facing today, be it good or bad. That you will know the incredible Peace that God brings by the Holy Spirit. That you will have all you need to succeed in anything you face today and that you will be someone people want to be around – a life giver!!

That is my prayer for me, for today. And most days! xox

 

Contemplative?

Well. Over the past 24 hours I have been busy thinking. Not being able to concentrate. Annoyed almost.

And this made me realise I lost my peace. Wait – I gave it away. And I need my peace back. You know when you hear some news or something, and it affects you negatively. You are surprised. But not really. Shocked. But totally saw it coming. Yep. That’s me today. Well. I am done with the constant brain spin. I give up. I need peace. And there’s only one way I know for sure to get my peace back: Ask God for it.

Matthew 8:26 And He said to them, Why are you timid and afraid, O you of little faith? Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great and wonderful calm ( a perfect peaceableness).

This is the story of Jesus in the boat – sleeping, at rest – when the disciples were totally freaked out because of the storm. If Jesus could calm the seas, then He can calm my mind. Your mind, your thoughts and bring a wonderful calm. Feeling better already – ready for the perfect peaceableness…

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]

So here, Jesus reminds us not to allow our hearts to be troubled – our choice… no one elses! Our decision to allow trouble to be the ruler. See the bit in parentheses  - stop allowing yourself to be agitated – I am obviously giving a situation control for me to ponder on it, imagine a better outcome etc etc etc. I want God’s help to be at peace, not be intimated by situations – nor be cowardly and unsettled.

These are all the opposite to peace. And you know what? What all I want is peace!

Well, don’t you worry: I didn’t only worry. No. We have had lovely friends over for the past few days. Had some sweet walks, had some fab talks and great food!

Enjoying my time off with my family. All of us And have some more friends arriving shortly – so better go bake some biscuits and get my pumpkin all into jars. Did you know I love baking/cooking/making? Thought so xoxo

I have all that I need

I have been thinking about what I want to do with my afternoons now Bethany is in school and Benjamin is asleep. It has taken 6 afternoons for me to have one to myself- and do my own thing. Unless you count the one where I fixed all my broken bracelets that my bbs broke over the past year or so But today I could actually sit down and watch tv. So I did. I made a coffee and sat down in front of the tv. Understand: I don’t do this. I don’t watch daytime tv. Well, unless you mean cbeebies. (I think I referred to the opening songs to the programmes between 9-10 and 3-4 as the soundtrack to my life!!) Ok, my favourite programme is Baby Jake. He is one of ten children and they live in a windmill. A windmill. WOW!

Aside. I scoured through ALL of the freeview channels. And tried itv’s whatever the show is called with Phil & Fern, there were psychics on. Switch over. Well,  I did pray for them. There is someone I met who used to be a psychic(one who used to do the readings over the phone). She came to our church about 4 years ago and saw that the power of God was more powerful, more pure, and affected her so much deeply than she had ever experienced and right there and then gave her heart to God, got saved! There was some other shows. But I gave up on tv. And knew it was time to file Ryan’s tax return – did I say I had an afternoon to do what I wanted. Ah I am a geek. I love spreadsheets!!!

I will write. That’s what I decided. So here I am. Looking for inspiration and I am reminded that I have all that I need. I am content. Not having to search for it, put it on, or make something up. I really am content with this season in my life

And for that. I am so thankful. I was out with my sister yesterday, we went to a beautiful historic town with a river.  We mooched in the shops, and we had a coffee/cup of tea. And Ben had his first Babychino We talked and talked and talked. It was lovely driving the country lanes thinking  about what God has in store for us, where are lives are at right now and how we are thankful for where we are, and where our parents have brought us to!

Last week a friend gave Bethany a cd with this Psalm on it. Patricia King reads the psalm and prays for you and then gets you to recite it. It has been wonderful to hear and have had on the l-o-n-g car journey back from London on Sunday morning. Read it, and see why:

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
² He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
³ He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
⁴ Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
⁵ You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
⁶ Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.

Ponder on this scripture today. I pray that you will be able to remind yourself that you have all that you need – in Him. That you will find rest, strength and guidance; To be protected and comforted. And to know the goodness and unfailing love pursuing you all of the days of your life. Amen xox

My girl goes to school all day.

Sigh. Sob. Oh dear. Not sure how I’m going to get on with this…….. My girl is going to school ALL DAY. 6.5 hours. I am delighted that she is excited to go. But sad and incredibly emotional (!) that four years has passed in an instant. She was my tiny new born. And now it’s time to try school full-time. I was making her lunch and did it all just as we’d have lunch together. Then realised : I won’t be with her to have lunch. She doesn’t need my help to eat. She is physically ready to last a whole day at school. She is also socially ready to last a whole day, and I hope she’s academically ready. But this Mama is having a hard time!

And. It is okay for me to have a hard time about this. I feel so mixed. She is such a delight, so precious, so joyful. And then there are the times when I know that if she’s not listening to me when we do writing and reading at home that doesn’t benefit our mother- daughter relationship. If she didn’t have a school or preschool or social environment. I would have to create one for her. Beth comes alive (in a good way!) with more people. She is pretty lively at home, but I love the way she is around others – adults and children. She told me: “I always say “excuse me teacher” when I have to get teacher’s attention.” Yes, she doesn’t say Miss Lovelyteacher (of course I know it but some details are best left out!!) she interrupts in a polite way. So then if she has confidence to ask for help I should not be afraid. Actually I’m not afraid. Just worried……… Not about what could happen to her. She is pretty incredible (biased, but everyone knows I am!).

I finished making her lunch, closed the lid. Then reached out and wrote her a note. I want her to know that I think school is a good idea. She is so excited it’s unreal

Then the tears began to roll down my cheeks. They still are. Will have to stop this when she gets down stairs I began to pray. And I said : God would you help Bethany, would you protect her again.

And I realised. I had taken on the role of protection. Which. Is. Not. Right!!!!!!! Yes I look after her, care for her, love her and would do anything for her. But did I forget somewhere about how big God is. And His extravagant Love for Bethany Hope? That He has an incredible destiny for her and that He has ordained each and every one of her steps? Yep. I forgot. All the things I believe about my life and my destiny in God – which I pray for my children too. I just didn’t put it into her life in school.

Which is why I got so worried. I am thankful for God’s revelation to me this morning. Yes, the tears may roll when I miss her. But as Ryan prayed for me last night and thanked God for the new season, I must see it as that for us both. And for Ben. Although it won’t really change for me and Ben. He and I play/go out/meet people/etc in the mornings and in the afternoons he sleeps. So instead of us picking up Beth for me to have some girly time with her, I will have space for myself. WHAT. Did you read that?!

Maybe I am more afraid that I now have time to do all the stuff I dreamed of doing, and now I have the space I must do it………..? But worrying about my daughter would be much easier. Stopping her from stepping into the next thing would be wrong. So I will take heart. And trust God (in a whole new way). See if I wasn’t challenged to do this then I wouldn’t overcome. Perhaps there was something in your life that you were worried about and could side-step it rather than encounter it head on. Make it disappear. I realised, after talking to other wonderful mum’s at Church yesterday that me releasing Beth today is one of the first steps. They say it gets harder as the challenges get greater – the wonderful mum of a 16 year old who has a new college friend with a car who regales stories of near crashes (yeh, not ready for that!) or the sweetest mum with a 20 year old who is at University hours and hours and hours away who sometimes can’t chat on the phone because her life is so busy! (definitely not ready yet!!!) But I’m further along my journey of trusting God with Bethany’s precious life. And the way He will guide her, protect her and show her love in all circumstances.

Plus. School isn’t that bad I trained as a teacher. And you have to be a certain kind of person to teach. Someone who likes or LOVES children. Someone who wants children to succeed. Someone who is passionate to impart learning. Someone who looks like they are having a good day EVERY day. Yes. B’s teachers are quite something

So as I prepare for my day, with prayer and hope may God who is full of Love, full of Peace, full of Joy and full of Kindness show himself to us all in ways we can’t imagine yet. (and protect Bethany in everything…!) Amen xoxo

 

afterthought: If I care so greatly for my children, and God is the one who cares without human failings. Then um…. WOW. God cares even MORE than we know how to care. He loves even MORE than we know how to love. He has plans for us even more than we can understand at this point in our lives! Have a wonderful day xox

Simple Prayer

I was reading a book my friend lent to me called Prayer by Richard Foster. The first chapter is on ‘Simple Prayer’. The kind of prayer I catch myself doing most of all.

Simple prayer involves ordinary people bringing ordinary concerns to a loving and compassionate father… we do not pretend to be more holy, more pure, or more saintly than we actually are. We do not try to conceal our conflicting and contradictory motives from God- or ourselves…we pour out our heart to the God who is greater than our hearts and who knows all things.

Be it a prayer of thanks – for something that has happened. A prayer of despair, for something I wish hadn’t. A prayer of hope, for things I really need. This is my simple prayer. My ordinary-ness brought to the attention of the creative God who creatively answers the prayers of my heart – sometimes in ways I expect and more often in ways that are beyond my expectation and better than I could hope for.

My prayer for you today is that you may know the answers to the questions you are seeking. Wisdom for the problems you face. Hope for despair. Joy in the tricky times and Peace to wrap you by God who holds you. Amen. Love xox

A water leak? I do hope not.

We had a fun weekend, at the conference. And started relaxing on Sunday afternoon. Soon after we had tidied the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher  (no, that wasn’t the relaxing bit!) we discovered water on the floor. A puddle. Oh dear. I was worried  that it would flood the house, ruin the lino.

Despite neither going to happen it’s funny how such a tiny (well ok it was a medium sized puddle it took 4 towels to dry it up) bit of water could make me so worried. I guess so many friends have had bad things go wrong with their DIY that I know the horrors that could happen. I was annoyed that I let myself think negatively. And create a flood situation in my mind. This is not a transformed mind if I can allow a splash to upset my peace.

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

I was surprised (although I shouldn’t have been) at how quickly I had conformed to fear. That I had lost sight of the perfect will of God. I don’t want my mind to conform to fear as my first response: I want to be governed by the peace of God and the hope I have in Him.

Since then I have started noticing droplets of water. I felt it was something to do with the stirring of the waters at Bethesda – House of Mercy. John 5.

Peace x

Wide eyed in the dark night.

So. it’s midnight. Apparently, there is a big scary monster in the house and for that reason Bethany needs to come in my bed. We prayed. The monster fear was gone. I tucked my princess into bed, and lay there.  Couldn’t sleep. Soon enough it was 1am. Ben was crying. Ryan went to him. I went to him. He cried some more. I went back. Ryan went back. Now it’s 2am. Couldn’t sleep.

I start thinking of all the jobs I have to do tomorrow (which is now today)

* Clean * Laundry * Iron * Bake 50 cupcakes (for sale, not for me to gobble up) * Buy things * Check my ebay for what has sold * Feed the rabbit * Find the rabbit * Prepare for the wedding address for my sister’s wedding.

Then I begin think of opportunities I have been given.

Have I taken every opportunity I have been presented with? Would I always say yes and take a chance to succeed. Succeed? I love that is the way we think. First option is success. Not in a proud, boastful way. But in a thank you God for everything you present to me, if I’m given an opportunity it must be to stretch me in a way  that I couldn’t otherwise do by just going about my normal every day life. Not that I think every day is normal. No day is ever the same. EVER. This week is conference week. For me that means being home alone from tues-sun. Usually (well. last year) I would have been freaking out. This year, I am different. I can’t exactly work it out. I am more peaceful. I am more settled. I am more confident that I can cope. Ha. And this year I have 2 children!

I started to worry that I wouldn’t cope this morning. I worried that I would get upset with the children. That I would miss Ryan. That my family would be too busy. I prayed. Silently. As I brushed my teeth. ‘Help me find peace, please’. I know. Short and Sweet?! But it was answered. I checked my fb and I had a friend from Canada write me asking to meet for lunch. Ahhh. What a beautiful opportunity! I said yes. And this week will be wonderful, I will succeed, my children will have fun with me. I will love. x