Life/Living/Lively/Alive…

Over the past week I have been ‘getting back to normal’. Taking the Christmas ornaments down, being motivated by ‘The FlyLady’ (more about her another day…. she’s a home cleaning inspiration if you just can’t wait!!), going to school and work and starting Ben off at Preschool.

This week I seemed to meet/mix with/go for coffee/see a lot of people and friends. Two particular situations have affected me over the past 7 days and I wanted to write about them, learn from them, encourage you to LIVE life…

Let me start with Ephesians 2:10 (AMP), where we can be reminded that we are His handiwork, with lives planned for the very best, with a path directing us into ‘the good life’:

For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].

The life stories of people that affected me make understanding this so much more important to ensure that we know we are living, that we are alive. Not just breathing, but allowing our Spirit (the God part) and, yes, our souls to thrive. Of course our brains are alive – but really alive… doing what we love. You know that BUZZ when you find yourself smile, or inwardly smile and think ‘I love this’, doing this makes me come alive, I was made for this. Ok. So I don’t walk around in a rainbow world where every single minute I have this inner smile. But I feel alive At the end of each day or during… I am thankful, I am aware that I enjoy what I am doing. And if I’m not. I actually stop… This explains my lack of completer/finisher personality right there doesn’t it. What an excuse. The best I’ve found yet for leaving things half finished

One elderly man I know has been house bound for 5+months. He can walk, but chose to stay inside. He could walk the stairs but chose to stay downstairs. During those 5 months, he gradually limited life to a small room.

Another guy I have seen (don’t worry, it’s not you, I don’t actually know him…… I have just seen him/overheard his stories) has slowly it seems, after many many many years of disappointments gradually let the light in his eyes go out. Where disappointment takes over and the ‘what ifs’ are almost forgotten. Instead of the slightly cheesey business speak such as ‘failure is not an option’ etc.. [although I have never worked in an environment where those kind of phrases are chanted around, ours were more like 'there's no I in team...' ] The phrase ‘failure is my only option’ would become a mantra.

Is living therefore a choice? Is it a gift? Is having your spirit awakened to God a gift? Is it available to all? Luke 10:

 ^27…You must love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.    ²⁸And Jesus said to him, You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live [enjoy active, blessed, endless life in the kingdom of God].

As a Christian, I can be sure that to live a blessed life in the Kingdom – does that mean heaven? -I am to love. To love God, love others and to love myself

Well, my prayer and hope is that I don’t limit my life through small mindedness, and that you live life to the full, knowing what it is that you are called to and what you have been created for. Love a xox

 

Additional reading on LIving Life to the Full:

John 3 : 15In order that everyone who believes in Him [who cleaves to Him, trusts Him, and relies on Him] may not perish, but have eternal life and [actually] live forever!

Romans 6:4 just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious [power] of the Father, so we too might [habitually] live and behave in newness of life.

Hebrews 13:18 Keep praying for us, for we are convinced that we have a good (clear) conscience, that we want to walk uprightly and live a noble life, acting honorably and in complete honesty in all things.

Wedding day

Today Ryan’s aunty and uncle have come to look after our children so that we can go to a wedding near Cambridge Today I am wife of the Best Man! Ok, that’s my role every day (wink).
The sun is shining, the sky is bright blue, we are on the motor way and then we will be there.

I love marriage, I love love and I love celebrating people. So it’s a perfect day for a wedding!

So excited to have a day together with Ryan, we were just saying that this we haven’t done this-ie gone to a wedding without children, well, since we had children!

love a xox

A lunar eclipse?

Last night, I was lying on the sofa reading the news and I stumbled upon the bit about how last night in the UK there was meant to be a lunar eclipse. Ryan was making music in the ‘garden room’ – it’s like a conservatory but just not as hot in summer or cold in winter…

I opened the doors onto the patio and looked around. Nope. No eclipse. I could see everything, there was no red sheen. Shame. Then I went back inside and explained it all to Ryan. He had his headphones in because he was recording. Then it hit me… The last Lunar Eclipse was July 2000/2001. I think it was 2000?

What were you doing when the sky went black around 10 years ago at noon? I had just returned from a trip to America with my parents, we went to Alaska too. I was working in River Island Dudley, I had a bright yellow VW old Beetle as my car. I was about to start a gap university. I had just arrived at work and was on ‘security’ (hahaha!) and that gave me a chance to go follow some people outside and see for myself what the sky was like darkened in the day time.

Last night, I realised my life was sooooooo different ten years on. Not only the fact that I wasn earning something like £3.75 per hour (hahaha again! how low were the wages? Better than my first job of £2.10 as a waitress though?) Where we were living, who I was living with. Friends I had then. Most of whom I no longer even know. What I thought about life, and love and everything in between.

Who would have known I would then have begun university, travelled the world, met and married Ryan and then had a brief career as a teacher. OK. It was very brief. Before having my Bethany Hope. And Benjamin Theo.

God knew.

He delicately holds every desire of my heart in his hands and enables my dreams to become reality by believing in His will for my life. Controlled? Nope. Free Will to chose what I want? Yes, absolutely. Free Will to choose God’s best plan for my life: YES, YES, YES! This way, I can hope, dream, and imagine life in the future. Which becomes my present.

A decade ago life was fun, full and exciting as I didn’t really know where I was heading, who I would share the journey with and where it would take me.

Now a decade on, I am delighted with my past and delighting in my present and can’t wait for what’s around the corner…

I talked to a friend today who said his birthday is approaching, at the age of 27 he feels he is getting close to 30. I wanted to say that I am 30 in 6 months…. And I love it. I love that I’ve had a go at so many things for so many days, weeks, months, years! Sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes you just have to try before you realise it’s going to fail. Sometimes the reason you try and fail is to learn the lesson of the process. I guess the reason we are afraid of big birthdays (we is the generic term. I think it’s going to be quite THE partay!) is because we try to take stock of how far we have or haven’t come, where we are or are not satisfied.

But if you allow yourself to love, live and let the master potter create true beauty from the muddy clay of your life there is no way you can fail! By surrendering you can have it all. I know. It doesn’t make sense this life of being a Christian, does it? Misty Edwards says ‘it’s an inside out, upsidedown kingdom where you die to gain…’ not literal death, just the kind where you allow God to take your life and as I wrote a few paragraphs ago, remind yourself that:

He delicately holds every desire of your heart in his hands and enables your dreams to become reality by believing in His will for your life.

I could make more of the allegory of the moon blocking the view of sun. And the comparison between things in life that cause a total or partial eclipse, but you know what I’m saying

With a heart full of thanks, hope and love for all that has past and all that is to come, A xox

I love my family

First of all….. Sorry! I was writing and uploading my blog but they don’t seem to have made it into wordpress.com. Ooops!

This one is from Friday….. Right. Now. How to fix my blog…..! xox

The other night, we went shopping after work. And then took the children out to Nando’s. I have to say it was the best time as a family at a restaurant EVER. Our children were amazing… You know like the well behaved children in a restaurant you aspire to having one day. Beth even went up to the manager to ask if she could have a balloon!

We have found more music. Ok. Ryan found more music:-

Ryan found this band and we love it – hope you enjoy it. This music is exceptional. Watch on youtube to get a taster – they are a three piece band playing at least three times as many instruments. Beautiful Lyrics. Beautiful Worship.

Future of Forestry is a band from San Diego. I don’t know much else, but aren’t the words melting you right now?

Yesterday we painted the fence and Ryan fixed up the garden shed. Our patio was completed and it is looking amazing out there. We have been relaxing ready for the big conference this week.

Enjoy the music. And everyone who is close to you! Love xox

Just another day?

I am becoming increasingly aware that each day is becoming months, each month a season and each season a year. And then there’s a decade. Maybe because Ryan and I will soon be together for a decade. And that I can count. I already have passed the ten year reunion from Secondary School. And the ten year reunion from College. Not yet though for University.

Or maybe it is because I can see how quickly life goes past. Watching my baby grow inside of my tummy, watching her look at me after she was passed to me when she was first born. Counting her life in days. Then weeks, months and now years. Her favourite thing to do when introducing herself is say “My name is Bethie and I’m four – aren’t I mummy?’ She does this with a cute look in her eye and twizzles her blonde ringlets around her finger. Yes, she will melt your heart. She melted mine in the first second I met her. That second will never be forgotten.

Now, seeing Benjamin when he was first born was equally amazing but totally different. I had a water birth and I got to hold him first. I remember seeing his little tiny face and the gush of emotions as I whispered ‘I love you Benjamin’. Those hours that I held him turned to days and then weeks. And what? Then he was one year old. And now he is my almost one and a half year old. 16 months of boisterous, gorgeous, bustling with energy and a cheeky – oh so cheeky smile.

The thing I love most about them growing up is getting to know them. So although having life on pause for a new born where you can cuddle them all the time. WAIT… no you don’t: you wake up every hour to feed them, they cry a lot, they sleep a lot in the day and that’s when you cuddle them! Oh and you burp them I know. So glamourous.

But now Beth has her character and Ben is developing his – or was it always there and now they can express themselves more we see more of who they are. More of who they are created to be? I know that you could totally shut their precious characters down. You could ignore the life within them. Yes they want to get into everything, and safely they can. They can explore. They can figure things out. But with me around! I want to be the kind of Mum who allows them to find things out, in a safe way, where I am there to help them when they ask or when it looks crazy. I want them to develop their characters fully, I want to see what God has placed within them and to nurture their call and allow them to step into destiny. Just as I was.

So no. It’s not just another day at all. Is it? Today is important. Who will we meet? What will happen? I know that each day is ordained for me. But I have to take opportunities given to me. Like yesterday. I went out for the WHOLE morning First stop the village slim club…. Met a lovely, lovely lady with a boy similar aged to Ben. If I hadn’t gone there- I wouldn’t have met her (obvious). If I hadn’t commented on how lovely her son was (also obvious) I wouldn’t have started talking to her. If we hadn’t gotten into a deeper conversation, it would have ended there. I am always amazed at the way people enter your life at certain seasons, on ‘just a normal’ day. I want to pay attention to the details that have been etched into my day even before I know about them.

Colossians 3:15
And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].

Thankfulness day 3: done 50 thanks so far

1. My blog:writing has enabled me to get my thoughts laid out clearer and to catalogue events
2. My journals, started me off with my writing…..
3. My calendar – reminds me of what to do
4. My iphone.
5. Friends who call with blessings
6. Friends who call
7. Friends who text
8. Actually the 2 friends who texted me yesterday asking if they could help in any way…….. THANKFUL FOR YOU xoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxooxoxxo I think they already knew in my reply: but you girls read this! xo
9. Ebay. I love the way my junk makes money.
10. Money. I love the way it stretches so far. And by some kind of divine power(!) there is always enough.
11. The internet. I love browsing, researching, reading, youtubing etc.
12. Books (novels). I love the way you can get totally drawn into a new book. And before you know it. It’s finished.
13. Books (Inspirational). I love the way they can take you on a journey and you can develop yourself by reading them
14. Children’s books – now my children are older they love to come and share a story. I waited for ages for Beth to ask ‘Can you read this to me?’ and my answer is always ‘yes’. Ben isn’t too keen on sitting still yet!
15. Magazines. I was given the subscription to Home and Garden for my birthday from Ryan, and I love the glossy covers, the smell of the fresh pages. The designs……

That takes us to 65. The children are waking so I will go get ready for my day. My wonderful day: We have a Princess Party to dress for

May you find beauty in the mundane, and treasure in the normal routine. A xox

Thankfulness day 2

After posting yesterday, I found myself so much more aware of what I have in my life and who is in my life. I was much more thankful. I am not only blogging about it, I am also talking about it. This is what must be ‘the fruit of our lips’:

Isaiah 57:19
Peace, peace, to him who is far off [both Jew and Gentile] and to him who is near! says the Lord; I create the fruit of his lips, and I will heal him [make his lips blossom anew with speech in thankful praise].

So whether I am near or far. You know what that’s like, sometimes you ‘feel’ close to God and sometimes it can feel as though you are so far off God is so small as you look to the horizon. But, the way I have come through the feeling far off is not depending on my feelings. I am such a feelings person. I find it much easier to say ‘I feel like’ or ‘it feels like’ or anything regarding feelings rather than ‘I want to…’ This, sadly crosses into every single area of my life: like the ironing: If I don’t feel like ironing, I won’t iron. Poor Ryan. Sometimes he has had to iron a shirt or ask me to iron I know that sounds all traditional. But he goes to work so I do the ironing and cleaning. (That part could sound really sarcastic when I read it back. It wasn’t meant to. It is how we roll:) Thankfully, I don’t like bits of grit and dust so I feel like cleaning and hoovering and all that much more often! So all that to say. If I depend on how I feel about my relationship with God it can all become blurry. I wouldn’t know where to start, where I left off. But if I remind myself who He is. And begin praising. And now I can add my thankfulness into the mix: Reminding yourself of God’s awesomeness (in the real sense of the word), His majesty and who He is, means that your heart will be warmed towards Him and you will find yourself ‘feeling’ close – because you are close. If you are feeling far off, may today be the day that you step into a closer relationship with God. That you would not only know God as the creator of the universe, but the God who created you and cares about you. Actually really and truly cares about every need and every situation you will face.

Hebrews 13:15
Through Him, therefore, let us constantly and at all times offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, which is the fruit of lips that thankfully acknowledge and confess and glorify His name.

I know it’s not actual syncrinocity, but I love how there are new and old testament references to the ‘fruit of our lips’ and it is not a coincidence. How about constantly and at all times though? There are times when I don’t feel thankful. When I can look at what I’m doing in the moment and not see it as part of the master plan for my life. Huge mindset shift about to take place then. Because as soon as I am out of that moment and can see past it, wow. It was part of the master plan for my life. And I am thankful for that!

With a heart full of thanks for:

1. Times when I wake up before the children and get to think and or pray about the day
2. That although I don’t always understand every situation I am in, often when I look back, I am amazed by the grace of God that reached out to me!
3. My home: It is so peaceful, it is a perfect place for resting and being a family
4. And it is big enough to have friends around.
5. And… it has birdsong in the garden
6. Oh and butterflies,
7. And the house had just about everything we need – the owners liked us so much they left anything we wanted. Including the rabbit. You know what. I remember their generosity and am thankful for that everyday! (not just on writing list days!)
8. Creativity. The way I get an idea and it starts coming together.
9. Failure. The way that I imagine something doesn’t happen, but happens in a better way. My failure. Yes. I honestly can be thankful for things that didn’t work out.
10. Success. I am so much more thankful for things that work out
11. Ryan. I could write hundreds here. (I will in time)
12.  I am thankful that almost 10 years ago he asked me out!
13. I am thankful for friends who we knew ten years ago
14. For the way we had so much fun as teenagers..!
15. Ok. I am also thankful for the takeaway: Ali Kebab. He was crucial during that time
16. And also I am thankful for the way that life takes people in different directions – that each of those friends pursued God and have walked into their own destiny. [even though I am not one to be thankful when I first hear people's plans to move. I know it is for their best, well. That's what makes it easier for me. Gosh I can be selfish, and want good friends to stay close!!!]
17. Routine: the way how I know in  a few minutes the tiniest feet will start sneaking down the stairs and will require my attention – which I freely give.
18. That I have food in the house to feed my children their breakfast.
19. For the preschool I take my children to, not only are they an ‘excellent’ provider according to Ofsted, but they care for my B.
20. For the things I can do with my children every day
21. For my PGCE. Even though I don’t teach. I am involved with my children’s education.
22. I am thankful that I am a morning person. It helped during Bethany’s VERY early morning wakeup phase. Which. Thankfully was just a phase
23. I am thankful for phases. But wish that I could capture the best bits and never let them leave my memory.
24. I am thankful for email…. no I’m not scraping the barrel of thankfulness… But it allows me to work from home.

Have a blessed day. I will find it hard not to. It’s 7.30 and the children are still sleeping. Wow.

Love A xox

For Love

I am working on an Esther blog – will have to be in many parts because the more I study the book of Esther, the more that I learn about her life and how we can live like a Queen/Royalty.

Anyways. Today I was just checking Esther 2:9 – here’s a small snippet from the Esther Series:

⁹And the maiden pleased [Hegai] and obtained his favor. And he speedily gave her the things for her purification and her portion of food and the seven chosen maids to be given her from the king’s palace; and he removed her and her maids to the best [apartment] in the harem. (harem. Ahem… actually, the word harem refers to a group of women who normally live in a polygynous household… so there ;P)

I want to please God and obtain His favour. That the things I need will be speedily granted – that I will receive my portion of food, my portion in life. To be placed in the best home.

I usually steer clear from prayer sounding all ‘I want’. It’s not really about me and what I can get, but how I can utilise the life God has given me starting with my family, friends and so on. But if it was possible for Esther, then it is possible in my life too!  So I want to obtain a certain kind of favour that transforms me and my world. Don’t you?

Can you tell I got my sparkle back? It started last night when I felt like baking. We made an absolutely scrumptious chocolate fudge cake. One of my friends made it for a lunch date we all had and I loved it sooooooooo much And today I’ve done the laundry and the hoovering. Yep I’m back to normal. Thanks for praying and thanks anti-biotics

Have a blissful day full of favour and your favourite things xo

Do something amazing – I did!

Thank you.

Yes. YOU! Thank you for stopping by. For reading. For clicking. For commenting. It means a lot – and you probably have no idea. Thank you xo

In March I hit 1011 readers. When I went upstairs about 9pm I left the month with 1000 readers, by the time I woke up and got round to checking my stats for the month there were 1011 reads. Different to hits, I am told. Not that I am a web site analytic. Leave that to Mr BB..!

So that is like a dream come true…. One Month. I did something different. I spent time gathering thoughts and writing. I took time from watching tv, from reading, from the normal and wrote. I have had such a fun month. This month is going to be even better… I can feel it!

Next week Ryan is away all week in London recording. And I am trying to fill my time – wisely. You know I’m not into good bye’s but if I can get my creative brain whirling then it’s going to be production central

Here’s to a wonderful week ahead, writing, designing, creating, thinking, playing, cooking, sleeping, baking, talking… hoping.

*clink glasses* cheers and thank you xox

something I read…..

Don’t let criticism stop you from doing anything. If someone tells you that your writing sucks, keep doing it. Make it better. Study people who do it well and rip them off, then make it your own and let your voice infuse what you do.

Create amazing things. Contribute to the world, make the version of the world you want to see.

Go out and do something different. Don’t do things just because everyone else does it. Here’s a secret:

If you find yourself swimming along with all the other fishes, swim the other way. They don’t know where they’re going either.

 

 

Blessed

I was reading the message bible over coffee the other day. Ryan was telling me about a specific scripture and what it meant, which led to his blog: www.ryanbakerbarnes.com. Go on, read it. He has pictures and stuff He’s currently recording an album so there’s a lot of fun stuff from the studio…

Did you like it? Thanks for coming back…

Matthew 5: My thought for the day…

³“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

- However I feel, if I’m happy/tired/exhausted or content, in every situation with less of me there is more of Him…..

⁴“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

-WOW.

⁵“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

-I was thinking about the spectrum of happy—content. How they are such similiar words, mean different things, evoke such strong reactions. I think I am a happy person, some friends who I knew from years ago saw me recently, yeah they’re a pretty sweet couple – he writes songs for… Justin Bieber... and they said they ‘liked my energy’ I guess that’s what happy means. Content, however is what it says in verse 5: blessed with just who I am. No more. No less. No more money, no less pounds (lb). No more. No Less. Of anything will change anything. Nothing at all. The moment I find myself: I feel as I write, create, dream, believe that I am finding myself. The journals full of writing. The back pages full of lists of things I want to do. None of which cost money. None of which I’ve completed – all of which I should. Most. Definitely do. As I approach my thirtieth birthday (9 months away!) I want to be getting things ticked off my to do in life list. I will be content!

⁶“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

-Amen

⁷“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.

-Totally amazing principle. I care, keep on caring, the care ‘tank’ fills up and when I need care there’s care for me – by someone else blessing through care. LOVE IT. I want to develop this caring gift.

⁸“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

-Want to realign everything, I want my inside world – emotions, thoughts, feelings – to be right!

⁹“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

-Wisdom…!

¹⁰“You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

-Ok so I would have left this one off. But being committed means persecution is likely? Dislike the phrase persecution, but I shouldn’t if it’s in the Bible. I want to be driven deeper into the Kingdom, but driven without a fight. Nope. That doesn’t work. I will be a blessing, I will stand up for Godly principles, I will raise my children in a Godly way. Yes, I get it now those things do cause some controversy – and I think I’m not radical…! Persecution, therefore, does not have to be public humiliation, it can be a comment, a criticism, or even a question. That is how it works, a gentle but continuous pulling down of character …

Blessed, more than I know or realise. A x

Faithfulness

Haven’t been feeling too well for a couple of days and wasn’t able to go out with friends last night… Anyways it’s only a cold but made me realise how much I depend on being totally healthy to do everything I have to. I was stood at the sink after loading the dishwasher and cleaning up after breakfast and an old, old hymn came into my head ‘great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness….’ so I don’t remember the rest. But I knew if it was a hymn then I would find it in the bible:

Lamentations 3:

²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

Expanded in the Amplified version:

²³They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.

²⁴The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being (my inner self); therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.

²⁵The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God's word].

²⁶It is good that one should hope in and wait quietly for the salvation (the safety and ease) of the Lord.

…²⁸Let him sit alone uncomplaining and keeping silent [in hope].

Don’t you just love verse 28? So thankful that He is never changing and completely stable. I hope in God, a good God and I wait expectantly for what is in my future!  And I won’t complain – I hope my God!

After a but of googling… you can click here to play it…!

And the words of the hymn are here:

Great is Thy faithfulness,” O God my Father,There is no shadow of turning with Thee;Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail notAs Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

• “Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy faithfulness!”
  Morning by morning new mercies I see;
  All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
  “Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,Join with all nature in manifold witnessTo Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

May you know the great, overwhelming faithfulness in all that you do today. Love xo